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19/4/03 [16/01/2006]
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Some places just sing. From the fireplaces to the expensive replacement sash windows this house reverberates to it's own special tune. If it were an instrument it would be a trumpet and be able to blow itself. Two bedrooms of C major Glory. £130,000
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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Good four bedroom modern detached house for the 21st century family. Easy living awaits the smart buyer with an eye for a bargain. Sitting room, dining room, kitchen, utility, bathroom, cloaks, garage and small rear garden for the dog to pee in. £170,000
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Meare [16/01/2006]
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What the owner describes as a very sexy pair and I would have to agree. Both have been beautifully enhanced and one would ave to say are 'firm and perky'. Ideal buy to let. Suit Landlord with a veracious appetite. £95,000 and £99,950
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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Situated in the heart of this wonderful and vibrant town. Lovely example of a Victorian town house with four bedrooms, garden and a rear access. Suit clean and tidy middle aged hippy with peculiar and alternative habits. £165,000
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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Where Guinevere lost her cherry and Arthur luckily found it. Don't think I've ever been in a house that reeks of character quite so much. Really wonderful old rambling place on the underside of the Tor with more soul in it's fat belly than you can shake a stick at.
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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Squatting quietly in the florid backwater that was once the site of Glastonbury fayre is this four bedroom house - with it's upright and Victorian tackle still on display. Lovely to think that such a well used instrument can still rise to the occasion and impress. £165,000
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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I'm reliably told there is a great need for more B&Bs in town to accommodate the hordes of thong wearing pilgrims that decend on us throughout the year. Four bedroom house with a nice character and lovely airy feel. £285,000
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Stoke [16/01/2006]
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'Bend over boy'. I still remember the thrill of the cane as it swiped my tender bottom and left me with the sting of correction. It did no good, I'm still smoking and probably enjoying it more. Lovely atmospheric converted school house with six bedrooms. £385,000
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Baltonsborough [16/01/2006]
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Good home for the Adams family or the Osbournes. Not suitable for a dog owner (as it's next to the grave yard) but perhaps ideal for someone in the glue business. The owner says he's enjoyed his time here and might come back to visit one day. £220,000
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St Michael [16/01/2006]
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Hardly a year goes by when I don't remember my school days, the pudding basin haircut and the short sharpe crack of the cane. Lovely old house with a stunning sitting room where naughty boys stood to attention and wept.
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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At the turn of the 20th century there was a building boom on and these very dificult to beat houses were born This one still reeks of a bygone age where once a week baths on a Sunday night were the norm and cheesy feet taken for granted.
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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Some poor sod is going to end up buying this place. You know the sort, sensible shoes (probably Clarks Commandos), card evenings, shepards pie and a quick roll on a Wednesday night. £170,000
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Baltonsborough [16/01/2006]
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Meet the ancestors, literally. Old church house in the grounds of St Barnabus in the belfry. Hall, lovely sitting room, sophisticated dining cum kitchen, two beds, attic and garden. Suit Goth with multiple piercings in interesting places.
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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Plenty of class and that unmistakable whiff of the old world collect here in the fleshy pink folds of this Victorian beauty. Traditional sitting room, glass roofed dining room, kitchen/breakfast room, two bedrooms, bathroom and tiny garden all located within a crystal ball's throw of Arthurs grave.
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Banned by B&Q [16/01/2006]
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It's so nice, occasionally, to see a house that hasn't been B&Q'ed. Lots of original features like panel doors, sash windows, stripped floors, fireplaces etc.. Suit the sort of person who would gladly trade creature comforts like shag pile carpet for draughty old sash windows. £169,950
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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What a rare find. As characerful as a vegitarians fart. Lots of lovely features remain intact including quarry tiled hall, stripped wooden floors and panel doors. Three upstairs bedrooms, large sitting room, kitchen, bathroom and courtyard at the back.
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Nearby [16/01/2006]
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How about this. Perfect for witches, vampires and ghouls. Proper chuch house in the graveyard of St Swinging in the Belfry. The owner bought it at midnight in a storm on Halloween from a hunchback and swears it's not all ll spooky.
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Baltonsborough [16/01/2006]
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All natural four bedroom village house with attached one bedroom coach house that is only fully understood by the all important and intensely pleasurable internal inspection. Fine ambiance and good natured atmosphere with lots of woody and stoney space. Present owner says you can sunbathe naked in the garden on Sundays. Ideally suited to young Swedish female with a D cup.
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Pilton [16/01/2006]
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This is the perfect project that ambitious housewives with that all important quality, the over -developed sense of adventure, have been waiting for - the opportunity to spend huge sums of money on staining hunks of man flesh and new kitchen gadgets. Watch the juicy builders sweat as they toil to create your dream house in this dream location.
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Meare [16/01/2006]
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Homely two bedroom village house with a slight lingering whiff of Jess the dog and a 200 foot rear garden. Sweet house for the first timer or another for the horrible old Landlord's collection. Large conservatory at the back for swigging Lambrusco in and bubble upstairs for washing the socks. £120,000
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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Smart and cosmopolitan two bedroom Edwardian end terrace house with lots of character and period charm. If this house were a person she would be dressed in Chanel and not be wearing any knickers. Suit Krug drinker who collects the bottles.
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Glastonbury [16/01/2006]
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Standing tall and erect in one of the town's better areas is this four bedroom beauty. Good, clean and square family house with a boxy atmosphere and slight lingering whiff of the Mung bean.
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Butleigh [24/01/2006]
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There comes a time in a girls life when things begin to fade into comfortable disrepair and it’s happening here. Fortunately it sits in a good position in the loving and supportive village of Butleigh where they welcome you into the fold like a repentant sinner that’s turned from a life devoted to the defilement of the flesh. Some mdf here and a little decking there and it could be rather nice.
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[24/01/2006]
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Is Julian Bending the coolest of all estate agents? That was the Daily Telegraph headline last year. We though you might like to read a selection of our finest adverts - so here they are. We'll end up putting about 200 on the site and might even pubish it in a book. Anyway enjoy.
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Draycott [25/01/2006]
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Fancy four bedroom house situated at the foot of the Mendips with the somerset levels spreading before it like a hot tart on a cold night. Fine sitting room with flagstone floor, large kitchen, shower room, bathroom and courtyard garden. Suit refined couple with an over-developed sense of their own worth and a longing to do it in the counrty.
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Glastonbury [25/01/2006]
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Taseful four bedroom detached house on the Actis estate. Uplifting as an improving book and twice as long. Good value and safe buy for the Millfield mum with only the spin cycle for comfort.
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Somerset Levels [25/01/2006]
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Ideally suited to a member of the shop-a-holic faith, who wants access to the great consumer temple at Cribbs Causeway where hard cash can be exchanged for the warm feeling you get when you spend what you haven’t got on something you don’t want.
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Glastonbury [25/01/2006]
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Maslow’s hierarchy of needs places shelter as one of our prime needs just above essentials like food, clothing and T.V. This jouse just about qualifies. Inside the space is good in a bohemian way. Three bedrooms, bathroom, sitting room and kitchen but no parking or garden. It’s a challenge but a bargain at £95,000
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Street - May 3rd 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Street.
Previously described as boxy but Good. Very Smart 4 bedroom house with vast 'Harrods' style bathroom, diniing room, sitting room, kitchen, utility, cloaks and GARAGE. Owner may now take an offer for this suburban gem. £115,000.
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Glastonbury - May 3 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Going, Going, But....
.... Not quite gone. Decent offer received earlier this week but no deal done yet on this 3 bedroom maisonette with roof terrace for sunbathing. Only exhibitionists could get an all over tan.
£69,950
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West Pennard - May 17th 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Have you ever wondered ...
If anything EVER comes up for sale in WEST PENNARD? Occasionally the illustrious residents of this golden village wrench themselves away to sunnier climes and make space for others to taste its delight and share in the ancient viallage ways.

The consumate cottage, not the slugs in the wall and mushrooms on the ceiling kind, more a comfortable rural retreat with the added attraction of having potential. A brief list of the accommodation reads: Hall, dining room, sitting room, kitchen/breakfast, 4 bedrooms, bathroom and shower room. More details are needed to make an informed decision and so please call for a brochure.

The whole is set well off the main road in 1.8 acres of south west facing untended gardens. There is a geriatric tennis court in dire need of resuscitation, a small orchard and an old barn. For the magically minded there is a good view of Glastonbury Tor.
£275,000
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Baltonsborugh - 24 May 2001 [28/11/2006]
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The bees are buzzing in the trees....
The fields around this house are coming alive at this time of year. A wonderful sanctuary after a weary day dealing with the GBP. 3 bedrooms, sitting room, dining room, study, kitchen and bathroom of course and small garden for the weekend potterer.
£127,500 Part exchange possible
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Butleigh - 25 October 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Imagine yourself sitting in the massive drawing room of this converted gothic mansion, roasting your nuts by the fire and playing charades with your favourite nearest and dearest, including large flatulent aunty, lecherous brother-in-law and sherry sozzled mother.

As you gaze through the window at the wonderful parkland landscape, you can't believe the quiet, peaceful privileged atmosphere this place conjures up. It truly was a lucky find you think to yourself. Any you would be right.

The place is crying out for someone to call it home. All it needs is a large loving family and some Farrow and ball paint. May be some readjustment of the bedrooms space, new bathrooms and a posher entrance as well. Go on make me an offer.
£300 - £325,000
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Street - 25 October 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Are you leafing through this paper looking for a bungalow? Then read on gentle buyer as I pass on the benefit of my enormous experience. This is one of the good ones. Completely refurbished to ridiculously high standard by talented and fussy local builder of repute, it has two bedrooms, large kitchen/diner and sunny sitting room with french doors. Also the delights of rear access.
£145 - £155,000
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Westhay - 14 June 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Have you got 2.4 children? And do you desperately want a bigger mortgage? If so this Parson's built house is for you. Three beds nestle on the first floor of this comfortable spacious home. There is a garage for the children's broken toys, bits of old wood and the lawn mower that doesn't work any more. For proper details please call.
£142,500
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Wells - 14th June 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Does this do it for you?
Esconsced in the upper reaches of England's smallest city with Bath's flesh pots a mere stones throw away (metaphorically speaking). My old boss used to despair when I came back with photos like this saying "you've made it look like a cornflake packet". The exterior hides a perfectly nice family home with all mod cons and three beds. Very practical and a snip at
£114,950
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Baltonsborough - 14th June 2001 [28/11/2006]
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I can see someone...
quaffing champagne and eating strawberries wearing a silk kimono in this daring and sophisticated country cottage. Large sitting room, kitchen, dining room, three beds, dressing room, bathroom, gardens. Only a short walk from the local where you can drink Pimms in the summer and hot pokered cider in the winter.
Wonderful value at £127,500
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Axbridge - 21 June 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Georgian Dandy
Hark back to the days of finery and graceful living in this two bedroom ground floor apartment. Comes complete with a share of the freehold, charming garden and parking. Offered with the benefit of NO CHAIN. S&M enthusiasts should bring their own!
£79,950
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Glastonbury - 21 June 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Garden for Sale
Distinguished lady seeks disposal of her large and immaculate garden. Will also throw in comfortable adjoining one bedroom ground floor flat with garden room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and garage. Go on steal it from her for
£63,500
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Glastonbury - 21 June 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Buy to Let
This property comes with a tenant who pays £450 rent a month on a short hold assured tenancy. Double delight for the canny landlord who buys this decent investment, as tenant offers stress relief!
£69,950
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Westhay - 5th July 2001 [28/11/2006]
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At this time of year....
... it is magic out there in the villages. Quench your thirst with local cider, breathe in the heavily manured air and waft down elder flower filled country lanes with the fam. In the evening come home to steak and kidney pie with boiled potatoes and enjoy this 3 bed det house. The perfect day at...
£142,500
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Glastonbury - 19th July 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Notorious landlord sells...
... this surprisingly good split level 3 bed det house in Rowley Road. £1,000s spent recently tarting it up ready for the fussy/lazy buyer. Good views towards the coast ... on a fine day you can see Hinkley Point.. garage, gardens and parking. Suuit active retired gentlefolk or pot smoking trendy young couple.
£129,950
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Baltonsborough - 19th July 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Not too Noisy ...
... despite work going on behind by hairy arse but very polite gang of builders. 3 cottagey beds, dressing room, dining room, study, kitchen, cloakroom and respectable back garden. Garage to be erected. Suit desperate divorcee or gay young man.
£127,500 - Try any offer
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Near Somerton - 26th July 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Evocative Georgian Farmhouse in a fine Parkland Setting
Safe and exclusive living in secure, beautifully crafted complex of converted farm buildings. Impress your friends as they drive up the long drive to the imposing facade, with a bottle of 'Bulls Blood' for the house warming.

The house has a gentle formality about it. There is a fine almost hotel like reception hall with a galleried landing above. A heart warming country kitchen/breakfast room. The sitting room has a large open fireplace and large eight pane sash window that look out onto a dreamy rural picture. Above there are 4 bedrooms, the master's having a gorgious French mistress of an en suite. Outside is a modest front garden.

The rear kitchen door opens out into an amazing formal, communal courtyard. You could almost imagine a bull fight going on here or some other passionate spectacle. This is one of the most perfect country houses I have seen and if I didn't live somewhere grander, I would buy it.
£300,000 (Yes I know it should be more but a quick sale is desired)
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Congratulations on Wells Journal's 150th ani - 2nd August 2001 [28/11/2006]
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My great great grandfather was a tailor 150 years ago. He used to sit cross legged in the window of his shop stitching britches. By all accouns he was rather good and clothed a generation of school boys including the Plasticine makers Harbutt major and Harbutt minor. He found the style of the day, Oxford Bags, very distressing, preferring the stiff and formal patterns of his own youth. He would also have found the cost of this newspaper at nine shilling interesting. He could have bought a new suit, had lunch at the Ritz, taken in a show with a floozy and still had change out of that.
Ah well, like great great grandfather like great great grandson
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Glastonbury - 30th August 2001 [28/11/2006]
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A real old fashioned cottage of curious charm. From the floral wallpaper to the steep staircase the cottage exudes all the smoky warmth of a previous age. The rooms are small and the ceilings low - would probably suit aspiring Wicca enthusiast with commercial flair or shy hermit who wants to escape the bright lights but still be close enough to buy a packet of Players when the need arises. Also comes with a building plot.
£150,000
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Nr Glastonbury [28/11/2006]
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It won't be long before they're 'a wassalling' down here in cider country. If you are a wine buff, the hedges are black with elderberries at the moment, just waiting for you to claw them into your vat and turn them into undrinkable homebrew. Amongst them is this much loved and immaculate 3 bedroom detached house with gentile gardens and a super garage.
Asking £142,500
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Nr Shepton - 13th September 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Husband away? Like the country but not the isolation? Then look no further - this is for you. Scrumptious converted agricultural building in a complex of similar. Neighbours all shop at Waitrose and Marks and wear Armani while dusting the sherry glasses.
£232,000 (Phone for details)
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Glastonbury - 20th September 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Never judge a book ... inside is flexible space on three floors. On the top (my second favourity position) is the kitchn/sitting room with views towards the coast. Bed and bath in the middle and 2 beds on the lower. There is a garden and garage ready for old carpet storage and stuff you will never use again. If you want a newish house in Bove Town call
OFFERS
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Butleigh - 27th September 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Baronial former country House of proportion and some splendour now divided into several parts for the discerning but not obscenely rich buyer. Cricket is played on the village green just in front, the church is just behind for the absolution of sins and the pub is up the hill for those of us who are drawn toward the carnal. The village enjoys a genteel atmosphere only broken by the occasional spluttering of one of the retired colonels or excited banter of one of the many estate agents who call it home.

The property consists of a wing of the original house. There is a hall, newly hand crafted kitchen, intimate dining room, magnificent drawing room or gargantuan proportions, study, 3 bedrooms (all with fine views) and 2 bathrooms both having seen better days. Outside is a double garage and private gardens. There are some breathtaking features in the house and some areas ripe for a little genteel improvement.

We feel very privileged to be able to offer this important property for sale. It may suit family with pretensions of grandeur or cultured couple with large and disgusting art collection or even bon vivant swinging divorcee in receipt of enormous settlement from erstwhile partner. It is a good base for someone who enjoys the freedom of the country but not the isolation that usually goes with it.
Terrific Value at £325,000
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Shapwick [28/11/2006]
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If this cottage were a person it would be Catherine Zeta Jones. Sultry and sexy with a penchant for older men. The accommodation is set out in a sweet easy way with hall, cloakroom, soon to be fitted magnificent but small kitchen, sitting room with dual aspect and fireplace, bedroom with en suite and outside - manageable gardens. There is enough parking for the Rover and VW Camper Van for those who have done with the daily grind and can escape to the sun when the fancy takes them.

The location is 'perfick' as Pa would say. From the front are lovely orcard/farm views and to the side there are open fields alive with the gentle braying of our bovine cousins. It is not totally isolated as it sits comfortably in the grounds of a rather grand former country house.
An idyllic buy at £125,000
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Street - 11th october 2001 [28/11/2006]
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Swiss chalet style bungalow for the active retired family Robinson. Situated not too far from the Post Office and other glittering outlets of Street's now famous High Street. Nice wide hall, sitting room, good size kitchen/dining, 2 bedrooms and bathroom all newly installed with tender loving care by gentle, well mannered local builder. Outside there is rear vehicular access with a level garden leading to the patio and double patio doors. Plenty of space for the grandchildren to play with those incredibly expensive and noisy toys in the rare moments they are not fiddling with the internet.
£145,000 - £155,000
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Christmas greeting - 20th Dec 2001 [28/11/2006]
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At this time of year I look back and fondly remember what I was doing at the same time last year. If I remember rightly last Christmas Day morning I was stuffing a bird on the kitchen table.

I hope you and your family have a very happy christmas.
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Glastonbury - Jan 3rd 2002 [28/11/2006]
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They say you never forget your first time. Well, this is perfect for you first timers. Porch, sitting room, kitchen/diner, 3 bedrooms (including one neat box), gardens and parking at the rear, all encased in a double glazed sleeve for extra protection.
Call for a viewing. A chain free buy.
£82,000
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Ad refused by Wells Journal 8th Jan 2002 [28/11/2006]
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We are just recovering from an attack by a group affiliated to the Sexual Terroists. They grafitied our display board in the High Street with exhortations to perform certain unusual acts. It really was most distressing, especially for the wife. The police are looking into it but so far have failed to catch anyone in the act.
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Pedwell - 18th Jan 2002 [28/11/2006]
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Fine village house once the proud home of hardworking and tasteful farmer used to sowing his seed for profit and milking his old cow, now offered for sale by arty couple with grown up children. Lots of space on offer with a wild, unruly and rustic charm.
£189,950
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Shapwick - 18th January 2002 [28/11/2006]
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Tucked away in the most beautiful location imaginable, this soon to be finished 2 bedroom cottage bungalow. Compact and bijou, would suit tidy widow who likes to hear the bray of a cow of a morning and enjoys the occasional waft of its last meal.
£145,000
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Glastonbury -18th January 2002 [28/11/2006]
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Perched high above the thronging unwashed mass of Glastonbury High Street, drenched in clear sunlight and pure air, is this undiscovered 3 bedroom house. Lots on offer including parking for two at the rear. Has love nest written all over it. Snip at
£82,000
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Glastonbury - 18th January 2002 [28/11/2006]
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Victorian cottage where deep, dark mysteries were unfolded in definite need of wash and brush up owing to the bohemian lifestyle of current owner. 3 beds, 2 receptions and long rear garden.
£95,000 Under offer
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Glastonbury - 18th january 2002 [28/11/2006]
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Up on the Old Wells Road you wouldn't think you were anywhere near the world Mecca for crystal and candle shops. It has an old world feel up here. Cottagey accommodation on offer with 3 beds and 2 receptions. Small garden.
£105,000
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Butleigh - 25th January 2002 [28/11/2006]
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We've had 35 viewings in 3 months at this monster. Everybody likes it but no one has been keen enough to talke the plunge owing to the gruesome styling. Current owners have held with unswerving devotion to the original and grim late 70s conversion complete with Avocado suite. Suit either imaginative, slim and gorgeous interior designer or long haired 1970s devotee with collection of Yes records or Princess who doesn't mind kissing the beast in case it turns into a Prince.
All sensible offers considered
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Shapwick - 25th January 2002 [28/11/2006]
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Years ago the chap that chopped the wood would have lived here. Now he's long gone and hasn't touched his chopper for years. The current owner is developing it specially, after taking my advice, into a two bedroom detached cottage bungalow. The location is wonderful, lovely views over cow strew pastures, the occasional baa of a muddy sheep, all the great outdoors with a few select neighbours to keep you from feeling lonely.
£145,000
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Butleigh - 8th Feb 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Shame the devil - tell the truth, that's our motto here and it seems to work. Surprisingly, we like this house even though it was built in the 'white heat' of the 1970s. The location is superb - it's on a quiet lane in the heart of the village, surrounded by other posh property. Inside there is a large kitchen/diner, hall, cloakroom, sitting room and conservatory, 4 bedrooms and a large bathroom. The house resonates with ABBA vibes and comes complete with corner bath, shag pile carpet and spiral staircase. There is a large gravel drive and private garden at the back. Throw a fondue party when you move in!
£265,000
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Pedwell - 8th Feb 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Where have all the hippies gone? I thought this would be a winner with our hairy, besandled brothers. The house is rambling, large and characterful and has a certain vegetarian charm. There are 3 bedrooms, 4/5 bedrooms, a workshop for whittling your wood, parking and a detached 1/4 acre garden. Where better to spend your time meditating, painting, potting or reading cook books.
£189,950
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Street - 8th Feb 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Finally this gem has been reduced in price to sell quickly. The lucky buyer will take on a superbly renovated 2 bedroom bungalow with rear access on a short, level walk to the High Street. Very comfortable place to sip tea in the afternoon and nibble Battenburg cake. Suit happy, retired persons who like everything just so.
£145,000
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Glastonbury - 15th Feb 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Situated near the inspiring and magical ruins of the Abbey and the candle dens of the High Street is this 5 bedroom house. 'It's larger than usual' says the owner - now there's a thought. Living room, dining room, kitchen, office, bathroom, studio room and views over the place where the monks used to wander fiddling with their beads. Good B&B potential or just spacious, fun family house.
£175,000
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Butleigh - 15th February 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Do you remember the time when your parents said 'don't call us Mum and Dad, call us Dave and Angie'? Well this house was built then. It occupies a delightful spot in this fiercely attractive and popular village and has 4 bedrooms, bathroom (with corner bath), sitting room, kitchen/breakfast room and conservatory. There is a drive and garage and private back garden for nude sunbathing and BBQing sausages.
£265,000
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Glastonbury - 15th Feb 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Old Mother Hubbard type cottage perched high above the town on an old lane. 3 bedrooms, 2 receptions, kitchen, small front garden. Suit bachelor with active stamp collection, gentle divorcee or swinging energetic octogenarian.
£105,000
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Butleigh - 22nd Feb 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Far too sexy for this very proper and upright village where jam is still made at the weekends and children still do their homework. Much could be made of this 4 bedroom detached house which is slightly reminiscent of an Austin Powers film set. Open plan space and 1970s features in a really superb location. All for
£265,000
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Stawell - 22nd Feb 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Are you the sort of person who likes everything 'just so'? Well you might consider this luxury executive detached house. Built with the busy trader in mind it oozes style and convenience. Literally nothing to do but plug in Sky TV and switch on the Fantasy Channel. Large living room, dining, kitchen, study, utility, cloak, 4 bedrooms, great views, and a double garage.
£247,000
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In the press 22nd Feb 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Local estate agent on Channel Four
A local estate agent is about to become a TV celebrity. The funny ads written by Julian Bending, of Ralph Bending estate agents in Glastonbury, have come to the attention of film company Two Four Productions, which is making a six part series on property to go out on Channel 4 in the Spring. Julian travelled to London earlier this month, where he was interviewed over coffee and crabcakes in a trendy Putney cafe by television comedienne Jenny Eclair.
Julian's ads which are a regular feature of the Fosse Way magazine's property pages, are creating interest because they are different. They had already been spotted by radio presenter Sarah Kennedy, who read some out recently on her BBC Radio 2 breakfast programme.
"Selling houses should be fun" said Julian, who was filmed reading out some of his jokes and explaining to Jenny how he works. "We look at the person who owns the house and the character of the house itself, we also think about the person who is going to buy the house and write the ad with them in mind."
Julian wanted to do something unusal in a business he feels has become very uniform. He finds that people like his more personal approach. The estate agency gets telephone calls from all over the country from people who say: "Love your ad! Really funny!".
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Glastonbury - 1st March 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Probably on a ley line or some ancient processional route where girls lost their precious stones to boys who collected them, sits this larger than it looks, town house. Italian styling and space throughout with wonderfully atmospheric views of the Abbey ruins and a studio in the back garden. Great place to do B&B if you have the inclination.
Offers
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Stawell - 1st March 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Completely gorgeous home about 9 miles out of Street towards Bridgwater. 4 bedrooms, 2 ensuites, large and luxurious kitchen, study and mammoth sitting room. Double garage and great views over the outside animal convenience we call open countryside. Suit the sort of person who likes to potter in something silk while listening to Radio Four.
£247,000 (Owner would also let it to you for £850pcm)
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Glastonbury - 8th March 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Hidden away from the hustle and bustle of Glastonbury High Street is a little jewel - a haven where every detail is attended to. A seriously spiritual space with lush courtyard and exoticly fitted kitchen and bathroom, contemplative sitting room, calm bedroom and upstairs meditation area. Sit in comfort and admire the erect Buddah.
Call for details
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Glastonbury - 8th March 2002 [29/11/2006]
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Calling all those on a quest to satisfy longin desire of the heart and start a B & B. Sign outside would read: Healing available in every room, magnificent views of the Abbey ruins, hippies welcome. Seriously, large house in good location with 5 bedrooms, bathroom, study area, sitting and dining rooms, kitchen and outside studio.
Call for more details.
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Glastonbury - 22nd March 2002 [30/11/2006]
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I would love to have a decadent candle-lit dinner on the terrace of this 'must have' property with a fair haired beauty of generous proportions. The split level bungalow has a large kitchen, large dining room, sitting room, two ensuite bedrooms, 2 further bedrooms, utility room with shower and a staircase down to a studio/bedroom with kitchenette, shower room and large hall (which the owner thinks would make a marvellous teenage den - presumably to contain the smell).

It sits on a south facing plot in an enviable position above the town and is accessed by a winding drive that leads to a parking area and garage. Behind is a sloping garden. There are inspiring/mesmerising views across the Somerset Levels to the coast.

Would make a lovely home for patient mum with kids at Edgarley while dad's away earning an honest crust in Dubai.
£365,000
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Glastonbury - 12th April 2002 [30/11/2006]
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Beauty they say, is in the eye of the beholder. There certainly are beautiful views across the Abbey ruins from the front bedrooms of this re-built and fairly large 5 bedroom family home. Potentially thriving B&B for the business minded. Suit normal person.
Offers invited for the freehold interest
(As my more stuffy competitors would say)
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Shapwick - 12th April 2002 [30/11/2006]
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Do you ache for the country? Compact and bijou cottage bungalow set in lovely unspoilt countryside west of Street. Good sitting room with open fire, dining room (small), kitchen, 2 bedrooms, bathroom, garden and parking for 2. Nearing completion transition from former wood store to designer gaff.
Satisfy the deep ache for
£145,000
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Meare - 19th April 2002 [30/11/2006]
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Dangle your rod out of the bedroom window of a morning from this sweet, restored 2 bedroom detached cottage. Lovely views over the Mendip Hills. Sitting room, kitchen, bathroom, gardens with river frontage, fishing rights and a separate allotment for good measure. Last time I dangled my rod anywhere, I got more than I bargained for
£128,000
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Glastonbury - 10th May 2002 [30/11/2006]
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We're all looking for it and I think I've got it. Three bedroom semi detached cottage on the Old Wells Road with sitting room, dining room, kitchen and upstairs bathroom. Small gardens to the front and no parking (except the on-street kind). Bargain at
£120,000
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Nearby - 10th May 2002 [30/11/2006]
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Snuggling in a sheltered village west of the shoe capital of the world is this sweet two bedroom cottage. Sitting room, dining area, kitchen, bathroom, gardens and parking all newly painted and gorgeous. Offer just received but no firm deal yet. Suit perfectionist hermit who likes being close to nature.
£145,000
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Meare - 3rd May 2002 [30/11/2006]
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The consummate cottage. Heaps of woody character within, enclosed in a classically cut stone overcoat. Wonderful, charming, virile - but that's enough about me - the cottage has a large sitting room with big fireplace, dining room, kitchen, 2 lovely bedrooms, bathroom and cottage gardens front and back, there is also a garage. The sort of place where only real coffee has to be drunk.
£169,950 No chain
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Glastonbury - 3rd May 2002 [30/11/2006]
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Safe and secure 4 bedroom detached house on the convenient and scrumptiously named Safeway development. Hall, sitting room, kitchen/breakfast, cloakroom, bathroom, garage and gardens. Modern, comfortable family home in a decent location for a modest price. Suit accountant or similar. Not at all boxy.
£169,950 No chain
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Cossington - 3rd May 2002 [30/11/2006]
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People keep asking me if there is anything on the market under £100,000. Yes, this is it. Quite large and spacious, lots of character, situated in a sweet Miss Marple type village west of Street. Very large hall, large sitting room, kitchen, bathroom, 2 bedrooms, small south facing courtyard and parking. With share of freehold.
£89,950 No chain.
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Meare - 28th June 2002 [30/11/2006]
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Spacious and characterful cottage with large sitting room dining room, kitchen, cloakroom, two double bedrooms, bathroom, garden and garage. Very nice, sophisticated property beautifully presented apart from the gentle untidiness of the present theatrically bent tenant.
£169,950 no chain
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What sort of person uses an agent like us? [30/11/2006]
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Over the years we have worked for lawyers, stockbrokers, doctors, accountants, bank managers, window cleaners, teachers, artists, builders, painters, other estate agents and my personal favourite the randy house wife. We'll work for anyone who has a sense of humour and a house to sell.
Give me a call on 01458 831212
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Glastonbury - 12th July 2002 [30/11/2006]
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No attention to detail has been spared in this ever so nice first floor two bedroom flat with pretty garden. Presently let for £400 pcm. Immaculate and stylish - a joy to any first time buyer or investor. Existing well travelled landlord needs the money to spend on an extended and lavish holiday with his new slim and gorgeous girlfriend. A reluctant sale for the excited young landlord who has the promise of hot nights in far away places in front of him.
£89,950
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Glastonbury - 19th Febuary 2002 [04/12/2006]
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Are there any greedy Landlords out there who would like to pick up a nice little investment? They say that letting is the new sex. This scrumptious, cosy one bedroom flat has a sitting room with kitchenette, bedroom and bathroom. There is also a garage underneath.
We can let it for you for £350pcm
Offers around £63,000
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Glastonbury - 19th Febuary 2002 [04/12/2006]
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Recently featured in the Sunday Times this spiritual retreat is beautifully presented but compact and bijou. Gloriously refurbished to very high standard the accom. includes sitting room, bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, loft meditation area and courtyard gardens. Suit hairy female new age therapist with good taste.
£105,000
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Shapwick - !9th Febuary 2002 [04/12/2006]
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Petit and jewel like detached cottage bungalow. Finally finished after painstaking refurbishment. Warm, dry and snug, a delightful home with sitting room, dining area, kitchen, double and single bedrooms, bathroom, large loft, utility room, garden and parking. Lovely position - suit missionary type.
£145,000
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List of Buyers - sometime in 2002 [04/12/2006]
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All these people come from our list of registered buyers. They all want to buy houses like yours. Only their names and faces have been disguised to protect the innocent - otherwise they're real. Call me if one of them takes your fancy and I'll put you in touch.

Photos follow of Jules dressed in various suspect disguises!

Spicy modern Maurice with a sharp clear complexion and a big wad upfront seeks a clean modern box to 'invest' something of himself in. "I want to be a landlord" he says - "can spend up to £130,000 on a two bed house. Have you got one? Want to sell it? Then Maurice is your man. Phone me and I'll make an appointment for him to view.

Deceptively spacious Millicent has a hundred foot wide rear and wants the same upfront. She's big and beautiful and the place she wants must be the same. "It's the size that matters most" she groans. Phone in and take her off my hands. Funds up to £250,000 for the right place but ideally she wants to hold a little back for a disgustingly expensive holiday.

Rock hard Willy sleeps all night with it wrapped up in an overcoat "cost it's cold at the moment" he says. He could really do with a nice one bedroom flat in the town. Funds up to £75,000 for the right one (preferably ground floor). Will become the sort of place you wouldn't want to take our in-laws back to.

Absurdly gorgeous Loretta wants "a rather lovely country house" and she wants it now. She's totally up for it and is really looking forward to doing it down in the dirty country - I've sworn to help if I can. Her budget's a bit vague but could spend up to half a million for the right place.

Sweet Georgie from Glastonbury wants to get hold of somewhere that needs a bit of slap and tickle and he doesn't mind what it is - in fact the grubbier the better. All that's important is the back garden's big enough to kick his balls in. Has £175,000 to spend and wants to do it right. Nice bloke - sort of. Call me if you have something to sell him and I'll put you in touch.

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Glastonbury - 1 November 2001 [04/12/2006]
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Sheepskin magnate offers much improved and well situated home for sale. Open plan kitchen/sitting room, 3 bright bedrooms, bathroom and garage (at present full of frilly shirts and whatnots), some lovely views to the rear. Suit cosmic explorer or spinster with sensible shoes.
£115,000 - £119,000
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Wells - 1 November 2001 [04/12/2006]
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Jamie Oliver would love this house. Designed for people with busy City lifestyles who watch Friends on a Friday night while eating pizza. Really good attention to detail. Fab City central position. Short 4x4 ride into Bath for a Schwartz burger. Mr Linden will even pay the mortgage for a year! Yes, a free house for a year. Choice of 3 available.
£240,000
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Glastonbury - 1 November 2001 [04/12/2006]
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Wile away the watery bright winter days in this nicely located cottage. Lovely walks nearby, a real retreat for the world weary. 3 ample bedrooms tucked up on the first floor with the bathroom. Downstairs a kitchen, dining and sitting. Small cottage garden to south facing front.
£105,000
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Street - 1 November 2001 [04/12/2006]
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Great house in great location. Suit hardworking couple with children at Brookside. Good comfortable house with 3 bedrooms, sitting and separate dining. South facing rear garden (quite private - all over tan possible in the summer months) and garage for the oily bits.
SHORT CHAIN
£110,000
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Glastonbury - 1 November 2001 [04/12/2006]
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Bohemian writer's cottage of warmth, charm and simple sophistication where 'Best Seller' was written. The sort of place where a lot of oakey Chardonnay could be drunk before a dark, hot night of passion in the inspiring top bedroom. Really funky bathroom, separate sitting room, garden at the back.
£95,000
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Glastonbury - 1 November 2001 [04/12/2006]
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Wonderfully grubby house with 3 dark and cramped bedrooms, sweet but tiny dining room, front room and filthy back yard. Complete renovation required to drag it into the 21st century. Offered for sale by the man who grew up there. Sale now agreed to my favourite hippie - another required to satisfy huge demand from hippies and others.
Sold STC Similar Required
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Pedwell - 1st November 2001 [04/12/2006]
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Got told off last week for describing this large 'L' shaped property as shambolic. I should have said it has potential - which it does, in buckets. It really is a lovely large and rambling house with a distinctive and upright character. Would be stunning if Carol Smiley had her way (and she could have her way with me any day). Also could possibly become a B&B.
£189,950
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